Millipede

           The cool season is beginning and with it comes the millipedes.  One of the advantages of having a semi-bush house is the constant flow of critters.  The millipedes are harmless (though some say if one falls into your drink you could be poisoned and die) but annoying.  At night I start sweeping at one end of the house and when i'm finished i have big mound of curled up millipedes and more have already slithered back to where i started.  They crunch beneath my feet as i walk barefoot around the house, but are preferable to the occasional big slug that squishes between my toes.   Frustrating, but just apart of life.   Dishes are done everyday but the sink (I love having a sink! so grateful to not be squatting in the mud!) always is refilled with dirty ones.  Hours are spent doing laundry (also love having a washing machine now!) just to have the laundry basket refilled in a day or two - especially in the bush.   Love, time, patience, money, etc. are all given out just to be needed again and again and again.

            Mind numbing at times and I catch myself becoming hardened and unfeeling towards others.  New people are constantly introduced into our lives along with old friends and I struggle with wanting to be selfish and keep everything good for myself.   So grateful for the grace and mercy God gives to us everyday.  The battle is always there; to wake up and see the world as God does instead of the way I want to.  To not get hardened against endless requests and to love and forgive those who constantly are offending.  To eat what is put before me with thankfulness, knowing it may cause stomach problems later.  To spend time with people when all i want to do is chill out with a good movie.

     
 Patience is key in Tonga and although our prospects of obtaining land for One Love inc.(our non-profit geared towards helping youth and deportees)  seems unlikely,  we are looking forward the possibility of leasing a huge warehouse to accommodate the tools for the  wood and mechanic workshop, skateboarding, and Wing Chun.  The cost to lease it for a year would be about $4,800 USD which $1,300 USD would be needed before we leave to secure it for the months we will be gone.  Having a place in Tonga to keep the tools we have in storage in the US is extremely important. Without it, it is useless for us to ship over tools and then have them stolen or ruined because of the being improperly stored.  We are getting prices on the costs of shipping over a container from Boston to Tonga so we can figure out the total cost of shipping plus the duty and fees when they arrive here.  This will help us get our projects to train the youth and deportees up and running.  We would love your help, support, and prayers in this area.

           Meanwhile, we have started our first informal church meeting with our friend Nguae and his family!  Although we all don't know the same worship songs and some translating is involved it's great to sit together on mats singing and encouraging each other through Scriptures.  I'm excited to see what God does in the coming weeks!

:)

       I hope everyone enjoyed there Christmas and New Years!  The Holidays here always bring sadness to me as this our 3rd year away for Christmas.  So i thought, this year we could rent a car and our family could go to the beach for the day!  Just kind of escape and not have to deal with other people!   Ironic as it is, since we live on a small island, our kids have only gone swimming 3 times since we've been here and not once at the beach, just off the wharf in town!  

      God had other plans for our holidays. All vehicles were already rented in Tonga.  We brought in a piece of a tree, put it in a bucket and covered it with a string lights.  Two of the boys from the land we live on slept over and sat around the tree with our kid opening up presents.  We spent the day with all the kids here (there's about 14) hanging out with them and sharing ice cream cones.  That night a few more kids slept over and i sat and read them stories as they went to bed.

    New Years was similar.  We were able to buy a big box of fireworks and shoot them off with all the kids here screaming and enjoying every second.  Then of course ice cream!  We wouldn't have been able to do this without the generosity of our friends and family.  During these moments i'm reminded of how much more of a blessing it is go give than receive.  Parts of me want to use the money on something else but seeing the excitement in these kids eyes is so awesome.  They will have memories they will never forget!

    So now i would say we are settled.  Chris has been doing tons of work on the house!  Booyah!  We have a sink! New shelf windows, painted walls, mosiacs! And my life is ten times easier with a washing machine! Now if i could just get it not to rain when i want to dry the clothes on the line.

     It's also the rainy season, which i thought wouldn't come!  It was cool and dry when we first arrived and i hoped it would last forever!  Now we battle the rain on our bikes to do our shopping and keep buckets around the house to catch the drips.  I always remind myself that it is only for a time.  It's like only seeing the bugs and missing a gorgeous sunset.  I must remind myself to remember, "why are you here?" and to choose.  If it is for me...then it's stupid and not worth it.  But, if it is for the benefit of others and out of obedience to God, then it is good.  

      Chris has a few jobs coming up that will help bring in a little income and also provide a friend of ours with some work.  Chris asked one of our friends to do the work with him which is great since we can help someone else provide for their family in an honest way and Chris can spend time with him while working.

      We are still waiting to hear about the land for the camp.  But, we are not going to sit around on our butts doing nothing!  Chris has been very busy working on the house and now with some work .  We also decided to start reading Bible stories to the kids here once a week!  Although they understand maybe half of what i'm reading they listen well and we discuss it after.  We have also been very blessed by the people stopping us to encourage because they saw the documentary of us.  So crazy how God is using that!

      One of the hardest things in Tonga is finding a trust worthy person.  Every Tongan warns of this and they are right.  The weight of lies can be very burdening to the soul and it is hard not to take it personal.  But, when you do find those few people they stand out like stars on a moonless night.  That it why it is so important to us to do this One Love camp right.  We want to do it honestly, not giving our bribes in exchange for favors (expected), and not giving out false hope.  That way when we accomplishes what God wants us to do, everyone will know it was God and not us.  

 

getting ready to weave the Tongan mats

       

Transitioning between worlds is always...interesting.  After 6 months in the US things started to feel normal, although hot showers and washers and dryers never got old.   Tonight i am sitting in a guesthouse in Tonga.  We have air conditioning (awesome!) and don't need to sleep with mosquito nets.  And the bathroom is inside along with running water. Still far enough away from the normal that will be life for the next 6 and half months.  We took a ride to our house today to assess the wear and tear from 6 months of island life.  There is a lot to fix.  Some water pipes need to be replaced, we need to find a water pump, new screens, new plastic roof , and a major part of our 3 wheeler was stolen. It was a little disheartening to return to have no water and bikes.  Tomorrow the work begins and hopefully by nightfall we will have water before we spend the night.  Please pray for us as simple repairs in Tonga are extremely difficult (especially since some of Chris's tools are gone) and expensive.  On the other hand we are very happy to see everyone again.  Many people didn't think we were coming back. We were welcomed immediately at the airport because most of the people had seen the Called to Tonga documentary and were excited to see us again.  The documentary is now playing on the documentary channel here in Tonga and has been played several times!  It makes me feel a little embarrassed!
         Knowing so many of you are praying for us and standing alongside us has given us strength and courage.  We are hopeful as we enter into this and curiously anticipating what God is doing.

Boston to Tonga

As most of you already know, we have tickets to leave Boston November 20th.  We will be in San Diego for a few days visiting our friends Doug and Miranda and then flying 13 hours on Air New Zealand to New Zealand and then 3 hours to our final destination: Tonga.

 What is slightly different on this next trip is the duration and round trip ticket.  I thought i was booking a 9 month trip but somehow (not on purpose) booked only 6 and half months out.  SO this trip is much much shorter AND we know when we are leaving.  What is similar is we will be staying in the same house we built and without 6 months of our expenses covered.

As we are readily learning, there are many miracles along the way that have brought us to this point. During our months here in the U.S. God has blessed us with people who have donated in various ways. And, we have been able to meet several people who's lives have been such an encouragement to us and we feel forever connected with. One blessing was the gift of tools for One Love Inc. And i mean tons of tools!   What was crazy about the whole thing was Chris has been telling me for years about these tools and that he felt he should ask for them but never felt right about doing it. I had gotten tired hearing about it because it seemed impossible.  When we came back the person who owned them unexpectedly pulled Chris aside and told Chris that God had told him to give them to Chris!  We had never mentioned in the past couple of years that Chris had felt God wanted him to have them!  This was such an encouragement to us as it reaffirmed we should keep moving forward with One Love Inc. plans.  We now have the means of teaching carpentry, welding, and mechanics. We just will need teachers for welding and mechanics when the camp starts!  A website for One Love is being made and will be ready soon.

One of the reasons why our trip is much shorter this time is to hopefully obtain land for the camp, apply for grants, and secure a safe place for the tools since we don't want to bring them this trip without that. We will ship a container from California on our next trip out. We will also be graced with the presence of Hayley from England for the first few months.  Hayley will be a big help to us with managing applications and paperwork for grants as i spend most of my time losing my sanity with homeschooling.

Our friend Sam who came with us from Tonga will be staying in the US to train in the martial art of Wing Chun.  One of the masters of Wing Chun is in California so Sam will be going in January for 6 months of intensive training so he can teach Wing Chun at One Love Inc.  We will be opening a paypal account for anyone interested in helping sponsor Sam with the costs of schooling, food, and housing in California.

Please pray for us the next few months.  Pray we have wisdom with the camp and flexibility.  Pray we speak boldly when necessary and shut up when necessary.   Pray we can love the people around us and be the people God has called us to be.  Pray for our kids as they adjust again and that they will learn obedience to God and us.

We also want to thank everyone who's been beside us and those who haven't.  There have been so many people we've met or been reacquainted with that been such an encouragement.  Some financially, some of you with your words of hope, some with gifts.  Some people have been faithful supporters from the very beginning. God has used you all and we are so happy to serve Jesus along side of you.  We also want to say thank you to our families who are pretty awesome and help us even when they don't understand us all the time or don't want us to leave!

unloading tools for One Love Inc.

September

This past month has been such an encouragement to Chris and I.  Chris' brother Jonny made a great mini documentary explaining our life and how we lived in Tonga.  It has been up on YouTube and the responses have been so amazing.  It is humbling.  It is humbling when you see yourself and know your faults and mistakes and yet GOD still uses you.

I feel i keep hammering this same point. But i can't get over it and keep being confronted with it.  Being brought to a place where we see ourselves for who we really are is essential.  Knowing the darkness we are capable of is important.  When we are confronted with the evil within us we are then eventually able to have compassion on others who do evil things.  But what is also amazing is that GOD takes us even in our failures and can use us wildly when we are willing and take steps of faith.  We have been brought to tears from encouraging emails or texts from people who have seen the documentary and all i keep thinking is, "why?  I messed up so bad, i was so angry at God, i wanted to quit. How is God doing this?"  And yet it's confirming for me to see how God works in real life.  He uses real people in there very real messes and failures.  We have to be willing, we have to take that step of faith.  It will be painful as some things are being stripped away but when goodness shines through you know and the world knows it's not you doing this but the beauty of the the grace of God.


I am well aware i may need to be reminded of this in the following months as we plan on leaving for Tonga soon.  We have almost all of our ticket money and as soon as we do we will have a date of departure.  We have some uncertainty of where to live and our kids are getting to heavy to be carried on bicycles so their are many things to pray about.  We hope to spend this next year focusing on our non-profit One Love Inc. and getting land to get it going.  Of course there are many needs (isn't there always?) pray we can trust God's faithfulness and be reminded of how He answered in the past.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWvfQhadoMw

2 months in the US after being 2 years in Tonga

2 months in the US after being 2 years in Tonga.  Culture shock was really interesting those first few weeks back.  It’s amazing how quickly we acclimate to our surroundings though.  But there is something astounding about that first encounter with hot water on tap or in the shower.  The excitement in the ordinary.  My girls did their laundry in our hotel in the bathtub!  I walked in to find they had stomped on their dirty clothes and then hung them up to dry all over the bathroom!  My son Indy had to ask me how to turn on a kitchen faucet and you should have heard them exclaiming about how much food is in kitchen cabinets!  The washing machine is still pretty cool to me.  Six year old Alei looked outside at the dark clouds and said, “mom, not a good day to do laundry”!  I was happy to tell her that didn’t matter!

Oh the things we take for granted here.  There is so much here in the US.  Soo much.  More than enough. Living with people who have so little has opened my eyes to this.  I know everyone and everything is telling us we need more or don’t have the right tools or gadget.  But it’s so not true.  It’s so easy to start believing it to!  But i’ve seen and experienced living with much less and i can tell you that you don’t need alot!  So get rid of stuff!  Share the nicest things you have (and not just from your excess)!  And it’s not just materialism.  Spend hours with someone you think is weird!  Make eye contact with people.  Stop trying to push your agenda and just listen.

That being said it’s really hard to do all this on our own strength.  I tried in Tonga.  I really wanted to be that awesome missionary wife showering blessings on everyone in my path.   And i failed miserably.  Those poor souls that had to live with me or came in contact with me (like my family!).  Love is what makes the difference.  I see how love motivates everything my husband Chris does.  He has the same misgivings as me and shares the same frustrations, anxiety, and struggles.  But he is motivated by love for God and the people God has called him to.  So it doesn’t really matter what he faces.   He sees every trial as an opportunity for something positive and way to minister to others.  I am praying God gives me this same desire.  It’s not there yet, not even close.  I still feel that ache in my chest thinking about going back to it all.  So much of me does not want to go back into the struggle.  I’m so afraid of entering the place i experienced so much darkness and depression.  I still battle the desire to have a nice house, a car, and washing machine.  Everyone has their own difficulty in life that they must face almost everyday.  We need God’s grace and the strength to give up what we want and to give in to what God wants.  We could spend a whole lifetime learning what it means to lose our lives for Christ’s sake so we can find true life.   People tell me all the time, “I couldn’t do what you do.”  Yeah, me neither.

Light in Darkness

Strength in Weakness

Peace in Chaos

I AM

If anyone is interested in hearing about our experiences in Tonga we would love to get together and share our stories with you while we are in the U.S.

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email: calledtotonga@gmail.com

2 Years in Tonga

Photo credit goes to the talented Jonny Paquette

There is a cooler than expected breeze that greets me as I step off the Boeing 737 into my new tropical world.  The sky is over cast and the air is much cooler than Fiji where i left an hour ago.  Everything is so foreign and for the moment i feel very conscience of how small Tonga looks on a map.  I feel fear, uncertainty, and overwhelmed.  I'm sure there's something we forgot.  I am so far from home and yet the excitement of a new place and the adventure of following God's call here is over powering my natural reactions.  For the moment.

A visa misunderstanding/complication ties us up for bit but then we are free to grab the rest of our earthly possessions that now sit alone in an almost empty baggage claim.  We are greeted outside warmly by our now dear friend Saane who rushes us into a vehicle along with our belongings.  The sun is setting as we drive the 30 minutes to our new shared home.  As we gather to pray together that night with Kamu and Saane i feel the warmth of tears in my eyes, i don't cry much, so i hold them in.  I have 2 years ahead of me.  I have never been away from home so long, almost lived in one town my whole life.  What is God going to do with us here?

Fast forward.

Today marks our 2 years of surviving in Tonga.  I say surviving because at times, that's what it was.  Our family has learned so much in the past 2 years.  We've all changed.  I have been confronted with my shortcomings and weaknesses. I have come close to losing my faith and i probably would have if it wasn't for beauty of the milky way reminding me of my Creator.  It is breathtaking here and often brings me to tears.  Like i said, i don't cry much.  

Here's somethings i've learned along the way of my epic journey.

1. I have loved stuff and God.  This was a painful realization for me..  In the U.S. i liked to imagine that things didn't matter much to me.  It's not like I was rich or anything.  The verse where Jesus tells the rich guy to give away his possessions and come follow him could not apply to me then.  I always smile when pastors preach this and then quickly reassure the congregation that they don't actually have to do this.  America is filled with stuff!  My woman heart jumps at the sight of a red tagged clearance item at Target! Tonga took away the things i thought didn't have any hold on me and I quickly realized how i fooled i was.  Sad?  Go on a shopping spree.  Frustrated?  grab a frappacinno from Starbucks.  Feeling better now?  It must be my joy from Jesus!  Ugh.  I wonder how often i've attributed my happiness being from God when really it came from STUFF.

2. I can eat pasta with bugs in it.  It's true, i've done it. We all survived.  Just cook up the pasta, catch as many of them as you can and go for it!

3. Being bitter and angry is bad for me and everyone around me.  I have been very mean and nasty a lot of the time i've been in Tonga.  Complained a lot.  My poor husband.  and kids.  My negativity has been toxic.  I can feel the weight of it.  No, Tonga is not what i would have chosen.  I'm not into sand, humidity, bugs, unsanitary conditions, and living in a stick house without modern anything.  (ok, i have an extension cord for power).  And although i can appreciate the culture....it's not my thing.  But.  It doesn't help my family when i tell them this every single day.  I'm still working on this.  It's hard when it seems so enjoyable to sink into my pit of despair and wallow.

4. Stick bugs can spray your eyes and blind you.  I still can't figure out why this isn't in brochures on Tonga.  Because i would assume it's fine to hold a stick bug or look closely at it.  Who would know it has the power to blind the innocent with it's poisonous spewing?  I wouldn't know because know one makes this information public like in a brochure or tourism website.

5. Hard things aren't bad, It can be good even though we're not having fun.  We've experienced a lot of challenges.  Like washing laundry by hand, biking to get everything (lumber, groceries, water..), no running water, lack of privacy and ownership of anything because someone will take it or ask for it,  squatting by a bucket of water in the rain to wash dishes, sickness, building a house out of cement and sticks in 2 weeks, homeschooling, loneliness, and exhaustion.  What good has come of this?  We are widely known because of biking our family around and building a more Tongan style house.  These two greatest thorns in my flesh have been used to bring God glory.  We have many opportunities to speak with people who otherwise would blow us off.  And despite the fact that i hate having a plethora of eyes on us wherever we go,  God is using it hopefully to turn eyes toward him.  Do i like these hard things?  No, not at all.  But, if look hard enough and stop complaining i can see the good it is producing.

I'm sure there's a lot of other things that could be added to this list.  But this would be a long blog post and i'm ready to sleep.  Thanks to all of you who have remembered us these past two year in your thoughts, giving, and prayers.

Here are a few photos from our trip to Ha'apai where we went to help after the category 5 cyclone hit the island of Ha'apai.  Thank you everyone who helped send the kids and I to go with Chris.

  Island off of Ha'apai where Chris delivered tarps for roofs after Cyclone Ian hit in January.

Chris in the hospital while in Ha'apai after getting a kidney infection from kidney stones

delivering tarps from Samaritan's Purse Australia

getting a girl's dormitory covered

another jonny Paquette picture